August seventh was the fifth anniversary of my becoming a mother.  Throughout this journey I have had to accept that I did not hold any power towards this quest and that these desires were needing to be petitions to a higher authority.  This higher authority goes beyond the adoption agency, the local children and family services, beyond the government of this province, our country or even that of China or Vietnam.  The angst of waiting for five long years and the surprise of being given the gift of a son when I had expected nothing other than a daughter from China were beyond my limited insights.  This song expresses so accurately my feelings and journey of faith towards trusting the Lord with my hearts desire:

   I Will Trust in You (Lauren Daigle)
Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I've tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You're by my side

When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There's not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation: the rock on which I stand

Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There's not a place where I'll go, You've already stood

When You don't move the mountains I'm needing you to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When you don't give me the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

How could I have imagined such a wonderful journey of faith and acceptance of His will leading to the pure joy of my current life.  For those of you who have followed my story you will perhaps remember the post When the path seems all up hill and you have no where to go (Oct 2013).  This post was a reflection on my journey to finding our beloved daughter.  In all of these winding paths I have never been able to see the future and had no knowledge of how our family story would play out.  To this day I am still amazed that I have been so blessed.  I have the joy of parenting two beautiful children.  Gifts surrendered to my care from a much higher authourity than I could have imagined.  So here are the latest pictures of our children.  

 I am so thankful that "All good things come to those who trust in the Lord".  Twice blessed.  Thank-you Lord from one happy Mother who has found your grace.