How could our lovely Boxing Day walk to the woods turn into this in a blink of an eye?  Here we were in light jackets one day and the next week we are plunged into a deep freeze.  I am glad that the new calves were born while the weather was mild.  They are up and about resting in the run in shelter, cozy and warm in the bed of straw that we put down for them.  Now we have to bunker down for the cold reality of wind chill temperatures twenty degrees below freezing and snow that demands that we wear heavy coats and snow pants.  This Momma is no fan of Ol' Man Winter and Mark is the same.  Marissa is a snow queen and wakes up to the change of scenery with the happy exclamation "It snowed, Mommy, it snowed!  Hurray!".  I do not have the heart to tell her that I do not share her enthusiasm.  With the new year also begins the count down to the end of my parental leave from work.  Yikes...how did it go by so quickly.  The impending date in March comes with some angst but also with the excitement of knowing that I will be back into my own routine.  There is comfort in knowing that I can retire if I so choose.  I really want to spend a few more years setting up for this inevitable event.  When will we make the anticipated trip to Disney with the children?  How old should Mark be before we retrace the journey of his roots back to China?  Questions and expenses that will determine when I decide to "pull the pin" on my career.  So much of who I am and what I do are connected to being a Nurse.  Father cannot understand why I wouldn't just walk away.  It is hard to explain that so much of my life has been connected to what I do in my career outside of the home.  That thing that I do when I am not spending time with the kids.  This is the curse of womanhood.  Kids vs careers.  Kids as careers.  Kids and careers.  All equally important and competing.  I want my children to be old enough when I retire to understand that their Momma was a working woman all her life.  I will leave this memory as an example to them.  I want them to know that I earned my retirement and that life is not a free ride!  Hopefully I will leave this work ethic memory with them.  I especially want my daughter to know that to be independent financially brings a certain amount of self assurance and confidence in a relationship.  Little girl you seem so vulnerable.  My job as a Momma is to prepare you for life as best I can.  Hopefully some day she will also find the balance between being a career woman and a mother.  That being said, I hope that the next three months drag by so that I can enjoy my time with her to the fullest.  Maybe by then spring will be peeking around the corner waiting to cheer us up.